Therèse Havenga | Teaching my child the language of money

When my daughter was little, I would sit on the edge of her bed at night, exhausted, answering all the big questions of life: Why does school take so long? Why do people get divorced? What happens when you die? And somewhere in the chaos of parenting, work and trying to keep my head above water, I left out one very important conversation: Money. It’s not that I never spoke about it – I just didn’t do it early and consistently enough.

Perhaps I assumed she’d learn about finances the way I did: through observation, a few lessons at school and a couple of hard knocks. But the truth is, today’s world is more complex, more digital and a lot noisier. Young people are bombarded with messages about success, wealth and escaping the “nine-to-five grind”. There’s a popular belief that they’ll all be millionaires by 30, retire on a beach in Bali and never work for anyone again. The dream of “financial freedom” is alive and well.

But the how? That’s where the cracks show.

Many young people struggle with financial literacy not because they’re lazy or entitled, but because no one has ever broken down the basics for them. They live in a time of instant everything – apps, online shopping and TikTok influencers selling lifestyle dreams. Money feels abstract. Digital. Endless. Even the idea of saving seems slow and, quite frankly, a little boring.

As parents, we often don’t know how to help. We’re so busy trying to keep the family ship afloat that we avoid the money talks – or we have them in anger, or we leave them too late. I know I did. I remember thinking, she’s still young, she doesn’t need to know what a debit order is. But by the time she was a teenager, I realised how much she’d already absorbed from friends, social media and the occasional panicked comment she’d overheard when things were a little tight at home.

I wish I’d started sooner – with small, age-appropriate moments. A savings goal when she was six, a budget worksheet at ten, and maybe letting her help plan a grocery trip at twelve. Instead, we only really started those conversations when her card declined for a third time in a month.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Teaching kids about money isn’t one conversation. It’s a lifestyle. It’s how we talk about buying shoes, saving for holidays, handling unexpected bills and even making peace with our own financial mistakes. It’s the openness we model when we say, “We can’t afford that right now, and that’s okay.”

Youth Month reminds us of the resilience and brilliance in young people – but also the responsibility we have to prepare them for a future that doesn’t come with a manual. Financial literacy isn’t just about avoiding debt or knowing how interest works. It’s about power. It’s about choice. It’s about not being trapped in a job, a relationship or a system because you were never shown another way.

If we want our kids to break cycles – of poverty, dependency or blind consumerism –  we have to equip them early. Not with fear, but with curiosity. Not with lectures, but with lived experiences. Not by promising them they’ll be rich, but by helping them understand what “enough” looks like. We can portray that inner peace sprouts from being content with what you have and happy in your skin.

If you’re not sure where to begin, start with what’s real and simple:

• Ask them to plan and price a family meal – from budgeting to buying ingredients. Or to make the money calls on a day on a family holiday, or during a visit to the nursery.
• Let them earn extra money for tasks outside of usual chores, and divide it into “save”, “spend” and “give” jars. Can it be as joyful to buy grandma a present as it is to go out with a friend?
• Involve them when comparing prices or evaluating “wants” versus “needs” on everyday items. How do you prioritise? When can you delay, and what’s in it for you? A nicer T-shirt?
• Discuss the financial news – what does higher interest rates imply, and what was the VAT fight about? How do you keep your eyes open for a scam? How does one spot “To good to be true”?
• Talk about the consequences of decisions. What does it mean to live below your means, and why is savings a life saver? When is debt a good option? What interest does your child pay when she borrows from you?
• Let them consider the relativity of “value” when standing in front of a supermarket shelf. One bar of smart chocolates or two cheaper ones? Which shirt will stand 200 washes? Does it help to save R4 on milk and overindulge on cheese?

The point isn’t to raise financial experts – it’s to raise young people who feel confident, capable and calm around money.

So maybe the best gift we can give them this Youth Month isn’t more stuff. It’s the language of money, and how to think about saving and spending. The chance to learn, to make small mistakes and to grow into financially confident adults who still might want to retire by 30, but who’ll know how to plan for it if they do.

*Therèse Havenga, Head of Business Transformation at Momentum Savings.